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How much is hidden?

Updated: Mar 12, 2020

My very special friend brought me this beautiful shell and it sits in my counselling room and it has got me thinking. I always think a lot!

It sits there with a past that I know nothing about, it can’t tell me what it has experienced, it doesn’t have words, it is present while my clients tell their stories, share their pain, when we share such deepness of their inner worlds.... yet all I see when I look at this shell is beauty and a shimmering gleaming shiny shell!

I don’t see what is hidden, even if I peak inside I can’t see around the corners of the shell, i can’t see all of it. So much is hidden, layers of shell, the inside, it’s past, like much goes unseen, unheard, unnoticed.

I wonder how many of us present to the world an appearance that says ‘I am good, I am ok, I am fine’ when really underneath things feel difficult, not ok, not fine and really not good.

How can what we have experienced in life go so unnoticed, maybe we don’t share for we could fear what others may think, maybe we feel we need to or should be strong, maybe we feel we should hide how we really feel because it will somehow upset other people if we are honest? Maybe its easier to pretend everything is ok because if you stop pretending that may feel less safe, less ok, more scary, its scary to do something a different way, the unknown can be uncomfortable!

Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with looking and seeming ok and cracks begin to appear, maybe in our relationships with others, how kind we can be to ourselves, our self esteem can feel like it has taken a hit, the negative self talk becomes louder, depression and anxiety may feel heavy. Maybe something has happened in your life that makes it very hard to continue to present the ’I’m ok’ to the world, maybe the mask becomes harder to bear.

It’s hard and exhausting looking so ‘fine‘ so much, and so often.

How would it be to say I am not fine? And not do this alone? Even this shell has imperfections if you look closely; bumps, ridges, scrapes where it has experienced the world, life as it is.

When you come for counselling we can gently look at what works well for you, what doesn’t work so well for you, and what changes you would like to make so life feels ok again, really ok... not a pretend ok. You don’t have to hide in counselling, although at first you may want to and that’s really ok, it can be scary at first but I am a warm and caring person and hope I can help you to feel comfortable and safe.

With counselling change can happen, you may still have the bumps and ridges like the shell has, only when you work through difficult things these bumps and ridges can feel less painful and sometimes they can even become something you can learn to accept. What we have experienced in life doesn't have to define us. We can learn to live and feel free from our past. Life can feel better.

If you wish to chat about how counselling could help feel free to call or email for a chat, or to arrange a first session.


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